Is there such a thing as a “mummy crush”?
Please tell me you know what I mean.
There is always that one mum. The one who is perfectly groomed, whose kids aren’t running away from them when the school bell goes but are instead embracing her lovingly and don’t have toothpaste marks on their school shirt they put on clean that morning. The mum who looks effortlessly put together. Who isn’t wearing jeans that really should have been washed a few days ago as they have several different food stains on them and snot all over the knees from a toddler wiping their nose. I so want to be like her. I’m calling it a crush of sorts.
Each day when we walk to school, we pass our neighbour out on his morning walk. He says good morning with a knowing smile, mixed with an expression of empathy. I know he has heard me yelling for my six year old to put on his school shirt for the tenth time. I know he has heard the epic meltdown my toddler has had over not being allowed to eat a snotty tissue. And I feel embarrassed. I don’t feel like the sort of mother I want to be.
So I make sure I leave the house looking somewhat together – hair is blow dried and straightened, not just left to air dry and end up a frizzy mess, despite the hairdresser telling me it was WASH and WEAR! I don’t have time to straighten my hair. I guarantee you, the minute I leave the kids downstairs to go up and straighten my hair, all hell breaks loose. It’s a constant run up and down the stairs to make sure no one is trying to bury someone in mega blocks, eat the remote control or antagonise each other, in between trying to get myself ready so I look more human than zombie. Some days I’ve had enough battles over breakfast, getting teeth brushed and bags packed, to make me think “stuff a beauty regime”, and rather have five minutes of happy kids.
It makes me think, “am I the only mother who feels like this”. I guess everyone has their game face on in the school yard. Some mums though are genuinely gorgeous creatures and are openly honest with me about their lack of sleep too, or their kids having attitudes that would shock a teenager. But what about the others? I hope those that are struggling every now and then have someone they can vent to and ask “what the hell is going on?! Is it the moon/end of term/pollen/weird surge of hormones/something in the school’s drinking water?”
But back to the perfect mum I so want to be like. I don’t even have the guts to go up to her in the school yard, say hi and ask her what her secret is. Because I’m afraid there isn’t one. And if there isn’t one, then I’ll freak out and feel bad. So for now I’ll just be the mum who smiles at her when walking past, but will keep my neuroses and tales of daily impressions of a banshee to myself. Because if I don’t know that they can’t be fixed, then I’ll always have hope that I can one day be that perfect, put together mum.
Do you have a “mummy crush”?