“You have two boys? That’s a shame”

-You have two boys- That's a shame- (1)

“You have two boys? That’s a shame”

Someone actually made that comment to me the other day when I mentioned to them that I have two boys. Seriously. 

“That’s a shame”. Those words cut me.

Why is it a shame that I have two healthy, happy boys? Is it because I have two boys, and not a boy and a girl?

It seems this person feels that I’m missing out on a great parenting experience by having two boys. Like I’ve been dealt a crap hand and not gotten a girl out of the deal with the universe.

Yes, I realise that that by not having a daughter, there are some things that I won’t get to experience. I won’t get to go shopping with my daughter for her wedding dress. I won’t ever be told, “Mum, I’m pregnant!”.

But you know what? I’m a proud mum of two boys, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

At the moment, when one of my boys farts, the other laughs like it is the most hilarious thing they’ve ever heard. In fact, our seven year old has actually fallen off his chair from laughing so hard at his younger brother’s fart before. He’s even taught the toddler the ‘pull my finger’ trick. Personally, I don’t get it, but it’s hard to not start laughing when they’re so caught up in the moment and in a fit of hysterical giggles.

I may never walk my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, but I will make sure that the woman who marries my son will be marrying a gentleman. I will make sure I help raise a man to be proud of. A man who shows respect and kindness, and hopefully by then, he has stopped laughing at farts.

Thanks to living with three males, Star Wars has somehow been absorbed into my brain without any effort on my behalf. The other day I actually referred to our seven year old as “Padawan” without even realising it… But I’d much rather that than have Frozen on constant replay!

I won’t have to deal with anyone else’s PMS in the house each month. That’s probably a very good thing as I’m pretty awful to be around when I have PMS, so for my husband to be subjected to living with other scary, cranky women, that would just be hell.

Yes, my boys will fight with each other. I’m not naïve enough to think that they will live in a peaceful cohabitated state and share all of their possessions with each other without arguments. But when they do fight, it will be out of their system. No cattiness. Even now when they squabble over a particular toy car, or one of them ‘steals’ the cardboard tube that is doubling as a light sabre (there is no escape from Star Wars in this house), within five minutes, they’re back to being great friends, giving each other a hug and have completely forgotten about the incident that caused the squabble in the first place.

I have two healthy, happy, clever boys. Yes, they drive me to the brink of madness every now and then, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my boys, and I couldn’t be more proud. I’m actually not missing out on anything at all.

Do you have all boys or all girls?

Has it ever been implied to you that you’re somehow missing out too?

Make sure you’re following Life, kids and a glass of red on Facebook for extra giggles and snippets of silliness!

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

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40 thoughts on ““You have two boys? That’s a shame”

  1. Oh yes! I heard it for a very long time – especially with four boys! People would roll their eyes. Worse, was before I had my second daughter, they would complain to my eldest daughter that “It must be so hard to have so many brothers!” The idiocy of people can be so incredible and heartless – thoughtless. There’s nothing wrong with having all the same-sexed children. Boys are lovely to raise and I just don’t understand where this idea comes from – that they’re a burden and their mums are to be pitied. I wouldn’t change my kids for anything. Very happy! (Oddly, people never say it anymore since I had a second daughter – go figure?!)

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  2. I find people’s fascination with the ‘pigeon pair rather startling. I mean, when you think about it, the BEST relationship on earth is sisters or brothers. Matter of fact, we had our third child primarily to give either or son or our daughter a same-sex sibling… I think two of anything is gold. x

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    1. It is a real fascination, almost obsession, with the whole pigeon pair thing, isn’t it? As soon as we announced we had another boy, some people even asked us if we were going to try again for a girl?! I think that as long as they’re healthy and happy, that’s all that should really matter 🙂

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  3. It’s a very shit thing to say. Personally, I always wanted to have boys. I only have the one son and would love another. Boys are so much fun. I obviously don’t have a daughter to compare, but I think everyone should be thankful for what they are blessed with. Boy or girl. And idiots that say that stuff should think first.
    p.s. boys never stop laughing at farts. Never. Ever.

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  4. I’m a mum of two boys and I think I have it pretty good. I grew up with sisters so this is all new to me – transformers, rough play, messy home, pee everywhere … but I’m happy. They are the funniest, cheekiest and keep me on my toes. The best part of being the only female is I can do my female things on my own. Being the only female I’m treated pretty well, and I’d hate to share that spot with anyone else.

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  5. Oh hahhaha I have two boys and the only person who has ever said this to me is my mother, the day I had the 20 week scan. I love her but it was all I could do to stop myself from telling her to fuck off. Truth be told, I’m not a girly-girl so I don’t mourn those stereotypical things we are supposed to mourn. Shopping, manicures, coffees, whatever. I love having two of the same gender and they are the best little mates. They wear the same clothes, do the same activities, have the same friends. Makes things much easier. And my house is not full of the pink glittery shit that people insist on giving to girls.

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    1. Glitter – oh my God, you’re right there! I have enough mess to deal with from two large, long-haired dogs, a husband and boys, without adding a spilt container of glitter into the mix! (or freakish dolls that look scarily like zombies or dolls that poop out charms for a bracelet…)

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  6. I love my three boys and I would not swap any of them for a girl. I’m kinda pleased they have each other, I’m not sure a girl would cope with the rough and tumble play and the noise of the boys!

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  7. I remember being pregnant with my third and people always telling me “you must be trying for a boy”. We were perfectly happy if we ended up with another girl… We had a boy, but still.. It always irritated me when people said that.

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  8. Yep, I get that all the time Emma. It gets to me too. For some reason people are so excited when women have girls and less so with boys, like boys are the least desired sex in this day and age. It’s sad. I love my boys to the moon and back.

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  9. I have two little boys and people {especially my mother in law} tell me how unlucky I am. I think that I am super blessed to have two healthy boys running around and loving life. And I think that farts are funny – so maybe I am meant to be the mother of boys… Never stop finding farts funny I say!

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  10. Yes. I have two girls and I’ve had similar things to you. While it would be nice to have a little boy. It’s not the be all and end all. I’m happy that I have two healthy kids. What does it matter what sex there are? Life would be boring if everyone had one of each! 🙂

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  11. God, people are shit. Who would possibly think that’s an appropriate thing to say to someone, even if it is your own (misguided) belief?!

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  12. Some people just don’t think before they speak. I’m a mum of 3 boys, 2 here on earth & one in heaven so I look at both of my boys as nothing but blessings & I’m sooo lucky to have them. Sure my head sometimes wanders & I think of all the things I’ll never get to do or will miss out on doing because I don’t have a daughter, but I have nieces & I wouldn’t trade my boys for anything even though some days I swear they’re going to send me to the nut house.

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  13. I hate that people say things like that. Healthy, happy kids are all that matters and they are all blessings. And you know what? I have a boy and a girl and they both crack each other up with farts and the ‘pull my finger’ joke. Walking your daughter down the aisle if you have one, isn’t a given either. Nor is having a grandchild. Nothing in this life is. Except for enjoying what you do have. Kids are who they are and don’t grow up to live our dreams. but their own dreams. I know I often disappointed my own parents because I wasn’t the perfect daughter and didn’t turn out the way they planned. But despite that, and our many differences, we do get on and we love each other. That’s what is important.

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  14. People are so thoughtless. Your boys sound great! And they have great taste what with all the Star Wars love! 🙂

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  15. To all the people who have ever said this: I had four brothers and yes I had two sons! And this is what you misssed out on…..I could change a tire and fix a carberator on my old ’56 Chevy at 16yrs old. I know all the plays and penalties during a football game. I’ve been to over 30 concerts from Garth Brooks to Tool and Incubus to Head PE. I learned how much guys need there own time to fish, hunt work on cars or go to the bar with just their buddies or spend all night at band practice. I watched one cry through his wedding vows and again when he had two ( yes two daughters). So you see I didn’t miss anything because there was plenty of glitter on my granddaughters pillows. Having to sons was over-the-top joyful and I would give all my earthly belongings to have the one I lost back. ❤ So hug those two sons or two daughters and ignore what others think. 😃

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  16. I have two children, 1 girl and 1 boy. The amount of times I have been told “oh how lovely, you are so lucky, one of each, you don’t have to have any more now”…… I have never understood this! Myself and my husband may choose to have more children or we may not. The fact that we have a son and a daughter plays no part whatsoever in our decision.
    On the other hand, I have had people tell me “what a shame, they won’t be very close as they grow up not being the same gender. It’s not the same as two brothers or two sisters” This drives me nuts! Hopefully, they will still be very close to each other regardless of gender and still choose to spend time in each others company.
    I am just very thankful to be blessed with two beautiful, healthy children. ❤ 🙂 Brilliant thought provoking post! 🙂

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  17. I’ve got one of each. Wouldn’t have cared if I had two boys or to girls, just wanted 2 kids. A friend of mine recenly had her 2nd baby boy and I said to her “so have they started? …the ones who tell you you’ll have to keep having kids until you get a girl…” she agreed and said that yes they had. I don’t get it personally. There is no great sense of achievement about having one of each, nor could I imagine any feeling of loss at having two of one sex. I can only think about how much cheaper that would have been. Because, I couldn’t bring myself to dress my 2nd (a boy) in his sisters pink hand me downs!

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  18. I know so many people who have struggled to have kids at all so these inane comments where people fixate on the sex of your baby really grates on me. I had a boy then a girl so when I went back for a third some people couldn’t understand why – I already had my “pigeon pair” so why try for more? None of it matters – enjoy your beautiful boys!

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