My, how life changes after kids.
Those lazy Saturday mornings when you roll out of bed whenever you feel like, potter off to the markets to grab some fresh produce and a stop for a coffee or two while reading through the paper. Yeah, where did they go?
Saturday mornings now consist of the kids waking up at sparrow’s, but still taking two hours to get ready (get dressed / take half an hour to eat toast / brush teeth) and go and stand on the ice covered ground to watch soccer. The other parents have the same look in their eyes as we do – exhaustion – while they grasp their takeaway coffee cups like their lives depended on it.
“I could still be in bed”
“Why am I standing on ICE, in the fog and sub zero temperatures, watching kids “play soccer”. And by “play soccer”, most of them chat to each other, skip around the field and sometimes run for the ball but get tired.
I now look back to my parents and Saturday morning sports with my brother and I. My brother and a few of his friends would sit down along the edge of the oval – “guarding” the boundary, as they’d put it. More interested in picking clover, or watching the planes fly overhead. I’m surprised there was only tea or coffee in the insulated flasks that the parents brought with them…
Every weekend, there’s the same battle to get the toddler to have his nap. Please, have a nap. We all need you to have a nap.
But he won’t nap. Apparently there is far too much exciting stuff going on that he is going to miss out on.
So we bundle into the car, and drive. We drive past construction sites in new suburbs. Diggers, front end loaders, dump trucks, cranes, graders, cement mixer trucks. You’d think it was Christmas.
His eyes are getting heavy and he’s tired, but he still won’t sleep. So we keep driving. We drive an hour to a country town. Side note for car manufacturers: provide noise cancelling headphones with every car sold. The seven year old is enjoying looking at the country side and rambling on about Minecraft, the toddler has finally fallen asleep. Hallelujah.Now the gamble is that the toddler stays asleep for the hour return drive, or we’re going to have a feral, cranky tired toddler on our hands.
Another option is to drive to a playground. A playground that is 30km away, in the hopes the kids will fall asleep, even for a precious power nap during the journey. If they don’t, there’s the option of playing chasey at the playground to wear them out so they fall asleep on the drive home.
Our mechanic wonders why our car is serviced so regularly. I laughed at the last car service when they tell me the next service is due in January/60,000km. Ha! See you in September.
Recently it was a foul weather weekend, definitely not an outside playing kind of afternoon. We went on an excursion.
What an exciting life we lead.
Oversized trolleys. Pallets stacked higher than our heads.
Zamboni style floor sweepers that extract squeals of excitement from the kids. You’d think we lived in an Amish community based on their reactions.
The reward for me at the end of this afternoon is to buy a massive Costco sized pizza to take home for dinner. I don’t have to cook. The kids will eat it with no arguments. Done deal.
I know we’re not the only ones who have weekends like this. Surely we’re not.
I remember when I was in my twenties and I’d hear ads on the radio for shopping centre grand openings. I’d hear my older colleagues at work the next week saying that they went to the shopping centre opening. I remember thinking that was so sad. Why would you go to the opening of a shopping centre?
Now I’m a parent, I totally get it.
Free stuff to keep the kids entertained.
Face painting. Sausage sizzles. Balloons. Thomas the Tank Engine ride. Sometimes there is even a mobile coffee van that provides free coffee for the parents. Sign me up.
Image credit: http://www.riffsy.com
Although the whole free balloon thing causes more problems once you get home. The balloon becomes detached from the stick. Now its a weapon. Something to use to irritate the shit out of a sibling. Or to use to pop said sibling’s balloon.
Is it Monday yet?
What are your weekends like since you became a parent?
Do you drive hundreds of kilometres on the weekend too, in the hopes that kids will sleep in the car?
Make sure you’re following Life, kids and a glass of red on Facebook for extra giggles and snippets of silliness!