You can’t pour from an empty cup

It’s been a while since I sat down at my laptop and tapped away. “Therapeutic typing” is how I referred to blogging. Some moments of time snatched away from the everyday stuff that always needs to be done, and refocused on me.

Maybe that’s where I have gone wrong. Not focusing on me.

I recently wrote about being burnt out and fed up, maybe I still am. After I wrote the post, I was amazed at the response I got.

People commented on being in a similar situation and how bone tired they were. What they did to change it. Stating that we all had the permission, and need, to take some time out for ourselves so we could be as good as we can be.

emptycup

Mums from school messaged me, saying they had seen my post and wanted to help. What a fabulous tribe. They arranged for play dates and sleepovers for our eight year old. They offered to babysit the kids so my husband and I could go out for a coffee in relative peace. Cooked meals were offered.

A kick-arse group of women who know that sometimes you need to ask for help, and are there when you need it. I hope everyone has a group of awesome friends like that.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote about going to the water in times of stress or overwhelm. Go to the beach, have a bath, drink a litre of water. And you know what? She’s bang on the money.

We recently visited family in Tasmania and discovered bay after bay of beautiful, picture perfect idyllic settings. There was something about the boats bobbing calmly on the water that just stopped the noises in my head. That just put a big shush on everything else, and made you stop and take a breath, and just be. Waves crashing had the same effect. Living several hours from the coast, I miss being close to the ocean, but I’m going to make more of an effort to walk around our beautiful lakes here.

In addition to her advice of going to the water, I’d also add to go to a garden. Get outside and do some weeding or planting in your garden. Get your hands in the dirt. Channel your energy into that. If you don’t have a garden, go to your local park or botanical garden and soak it all up.

While you’re at it, throw in a digital detox.

Self care has to become a priority for parents. I think we have to also teach our kids about self care so they don’t suddenly wonder why, when they’re in their 30s, that they’re exhausted.

It’s ok to take some time out. I’ve even taken to adding “Freezer Friday” to the meal plan. Whatever everyone wants from the freezer is what is for dinner. Be it leftovers, or frozen fish. No added meal preparation, no pressure, and everything will pair nicely with a glass of wine for parents. Can’t go wrong there.

Why the hell didn’t I do this sooner?!

I’m still tired, (but show me a parent who isn’t) but the sheer exhaustion has faded.

Do you find being near water calming and rejuvenating?
Am I the only one who has just figured out how awesome Freezer Fridays are?

Make sure you’re following Life, kids and a glass of red on Facebook for extra giggles and snippets of silliness.

Linking up with Kylie for IBOT.

 

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25 thoughts on “You can’t pour from an empty cup

  1. Oh I needed to read this! I have been feeling so burned out lately and was planning to write about it soon, but the problem is I fall into bed every night from exhaustion and forget to blog!! I’m thinking tonight I will grab a glass of red and pur my heart out!

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  2. After burning out and crashing some years ago, I’m a huge advocate for self care! You’re on the right track – nature, water, digital detox – yes to all! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Self care is my topic today too (and I am hosting an Instagram self care challenge in November- stay tuned). The water and nature are my definite big mind soothers. I love your idea of freezer Fridays. I already rely on my freezer a lot lol but love your approach plan.

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  4. We’ve just stepped up our self care as well. Well overdue, and you are so right about water, in all it’s sources, it is such a help!

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  5. Self-care is something I need to be on top of all the time, as it’s so easy to overwhelmed by life and then, before you know it you’ve crashed. I make exercise a priority each day, I try and make healthy food choices and get in a daily walk. Being outside is always the best way for me to clear my mind, and writing – that helps too.

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  6. Oh what a wonderful update – it’s amazing how much women will rally around each other when someone needs help. Glad to hear that help made itself available to you. For me, my daily run (with headphones) is where it’s at. If I don’t get outside to do that at least 5 -6 times a week I always feel it. Daylight savings is totally the bomb – extra doses of vitamin D.

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  7. This is why I can’t leave the ocean. I just love living by it too much. It’s not much rejuvenation for me right now but i’ts better than random ocenanless suburbia.

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  8. Your Freezer Friday is like our Sunday Easy Night where we have whatever is in the freezer – nuggets, frozen chips, leftover lasagne, bolognese, whatever is in there. So good! Glad to hear you’ve taken some time for yourself and that your community has offered to help you out too. I’m thinking a digital detox is needed my way too. Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The beach is a definite balm for me. But how wonderful that everyone was able to reach out and support you. I think sometimes we forget how readily people will do that if we just ask.

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  10. I love that we have moved so close to the coast. We have been swimming in the bay since winter when we moved. It makes you automatically feel so much better! Glad your tribe rallied around you and that you’re feeling slightly better – yoga also works for me {it’s also my 1 hour of child free time for the week}.

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  11. Water always makes me calm. Even just looking at it. It’s why I just recently changed my desktop background to a photo of the river I took a little while ago, so when I need to feel more calm but can’t get out, I can just look at my screen, lol! It’s not the same but it’s better than nothing!

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  12. I’m so pleased you gave yourself the time you needed and others gave you such support. We can all get by with a little help from your friends. I’m with you on the water thing, there really is something so calming about it. As for Freezer Friday, that’s one train I could totally get on board!

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  13. Reblogged this on Sleepy Town Makeables and commented:
    I read this post today, and as a mum of two boys under four, it speaks mountains to me.
    My arts and crafts interests may be a hobby, but spending time creating something is such a great outlet for me. It’s time and space for me to think about something other than kids, chores and cooking.
    Being creative and artistic, doing sport, writing blogs, these “me time” activities “refill our cups”, so that we have some energy to pour into our family lives.
    A wonderful post on Life Kids and a Glass of Red.

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  14. I needed this article.
    Sometimes it’s easy to feel guilty for wanting to spend time doing “me time” activities (which for me is arts and crafts). But without these activities, I would surely go mad.
    Mums are people too.

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