All I want for Christmas is a nap

All I want for Christmas is a nap. Seriously. A gorgeous, uninterrupted nap with my fab new contour pillow that feels like my head is resting on a cloud.

The perfect nap that leaves you refreshed, happy and ready to deal with even the biggest tantrums the kids decide to throw.

Is that a lot to ask for?

We’re in the school holidays and I have been so looking forward to a break. I’m exhausted. This year has been exhausting. Coffee might as well be hooked up in an IV bag at this point in time.

Today we continued our Christmas tradition of baking gingerbread. No longer am I naive enough to believe I can master a batch of gingerbread from scratch. Nup. Learnt that lesson years ago, not without tears, stress and a general feeling of complete overwhelm. Martha Stewart, am I not.

Bring on the packet mix.

But today, the universe decided it would have some fun. A one wooden spoon rated recipe, yet I still managed to fuck it up. And I made the stupid decision to even start to bake Christmas gingerbread after the three year old flat out refused to have a nap, even though he admitted he was tired and wanted a nap. Rookie mistake. Should have aborted baking mission then and there.

The dough would. not. work. I ended up going so far off the actual recipe, just to get the damn mix to hold together. After recipe variations, multiple chills in the fridge, multiple “for fuck’s sake” under my breath, and sheer determination, we finally got the dough to the right consistency.

The reality of baking and decorating Christmas biscuits is never quite the same as what you imagine.


Decapitated gingerbread men, questionable looking Christmas trees, blobby stars and kids fighting over who made the best biscuit and whose will ultimately be eaten by Santa. Wrestling the icing bag from the three year old before he squeezed it on his brother, resulting in a rapidly escalating situation that almost had the boys wrestling on the kitchen floor.

Counting to three did NOT work. It never works. 

It could have been worse, I guess. The iced gingerbread men could have had penises drawn on them. Then we definitely couldn’t give that to a friend who popped in for coffee.

Give me strength.

Is it time for a glass of wine yet?

Can I have a nap now?

Make sure you’re following Life, kids and a glass of red on Facebook for more giggles and snippets of silliness!

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