New words

Our four-year-old has unfortunately learnt a new word. Normally you’d be thrilled when a child with speech delays says a new word.
I say unfortunately, as it’s a word he should not be saying.

Both of our kids have had some problems with speech. Our eldest wasn’t able to pronounce “dump trucks” for a long time. There were mortifying moments when he’d be sitting on my husband’s shoulders or in his pram and he’d suddenly point and yell, “dumb fucks, dumb fucks!” I’d will the earth to suddenly swallow me up so I could escape the shaming looks we’d get.

With our youngest (the former ‘toddler tornado’, who is now four) we can understand roughly half of what he’s saying. But the new word he said was clear as day.

Sitting at the table, we heard the four year old call his brother, what we thought, was “arsehole”.

No. Surely that wasn’t what we heard?

The next day, I overheard him say it again. Clear as day. There was no mistaking that.

Oh, joy. Our four-year-old has a potty mouth.

Why can’t he magically be able to pronounce another word, like “shoe”? No. He has to be able say with perfect clarity, “arsehole”. Fabulous. Kindergarten at a Catholic school is going to a blast this year. They’re going to love us…

I may swear on my blog, I may swear when with friends, but I have never said that in my house. Sure, I have said (the now rather frequent) “for fuck’s sake”, a little too loudly in the other room, as opposed to muttering it quietly. But what parent hasn’t?!

We’ve talked about what words are appropriate, what is nice behaviour and what isn’t. Let’s see if that works.

I’m guessing the odds aren’t going to be great.

Tonight he had an epic meltdown. Items were thrown, furniture pushed. This resulted in him having an early shower and dinner and put to bed.

He yelled that I was acting like an idiot. In my mind I was yelling at him that HE, was in fact, acting like the idiot. More like an arsehole, actually.

Four-year-olds are truly, a delight.

What delightfully inappropriate words have your kids learned?

Make sure you’re following Life, kids and a glass of red on Facebook for more giggles and snippets of silliness!

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